Heels, Shiny Red

A long, long time ago, as part of NaBloPoMo-07, Britt and I played a little game. And I lost. As the winner, Britt got to choose one item off of my “I Have Never” list that I, the loser, would have to do. Britt’s choice? I would have to buy a pair of Shiny Red Heels.

Now, at first, this didn’t seem like much of a punishment. I mean, I lose a game and all I have to do is go shoe shopping? Wow, Britt, remind me to let you win games more often!

“But if you think shoe shopping is so much fun, why have 2 months passed without any post about new Shiny Red Heels?”

Well, there are a few reasons. I could easily blame the whole holiday shopping season which resulted in a very limited cash flow and not a lot of time for extra-curricular shopping. But what it really comes down to is this: The reason I have never owned a pair of Shiny Red Heels? I don’t really like Shiny Red Heels. They’re just so flashy and . . . fancy and . . . shiny.

Now, if I worked in an office that required me to wear something fancier than jeans and flip flops every day, I might have had an easier time finding a nice pair of red heels. And I also would have had an easier time justifying the expense because I’d be able to break it down to a very low cost-per-wear number.

But here’s the thing. My office dress code is very casual. And while I tend to wear red shoes every day with my jeans when it’s not flip-flop weather, these red shoes are just plain old oxfords that have neither shine nor heels.

Still, though, I thought maybe I could find a pair of red heels that would work for me year-round. I could wear them with the nicer pants that I usually wear with boots in the winter, and I could wear them with skirts in the summer. But the “Shiny” factor just made all of the possibilities far too fancy looking for me to pull off in my casual work environment.

So I started shopping for Shiny Red Heels, keeping my fingers crossed that Britt would be okay with that. And I did end up finding a couple of pairs of pumps (one was even shiny!) that I really liked. But then I discovered a whole new problem: I have fat feet. Now, I’ve always known that I have wide feet. I never realized, however, that my feet were actually fat. Never, that is, until I tried on a sexy pair of pumps and my foot fat bulged over the top of the shoe where it hit the excess fat in my foot right above my fat toes. This is hugely attractive and all, but I just couldn’t bring myself to buy the shoes.

While I pondered what types of exercises one could do to eliminate excess foot fat, I stumbled across an adorable pair of red polka-dot sandals. They may not be year-round wearable, but they will look darling with skirts and dresses in the summer, they aren’t too fancy for my casual office, and as an added bonus, the actual heel of the shoe is shiny. Also, they were on sale for the exact amount of the gift card I had for the store I was in. I believe that is what is called a Win-Win-Win situation.

And so it is that after 2 months and several hours of shopping, I am able to present you with my new (and adorable!) Shiny Red Heels:

(Please excuse the messy toenails. These fat feet only get to splurge on pedicures in the spring and summer when they don’t spend all their time hidden inside socks and slippers.)

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