Wednesday-Bensday! Special Guest-Blogger Edition

hi you guys. since lindsey finally stood up and defended my right to speak for myself, all of this month’s wedensday-bensdays will be brought to you by the real star of the show: me.

i’m not very good at working this weird thing with the buttons (i tried, but all I got was kmdeckgvb ,bvmgvkb nmjbgvl,.,nmgk,logko) (and it also made a scary noise that i did not like at all), so i have to keep a safe distance from that thing and dictate these posts to my mom, who has promised to type everything I say, word for word, and not steal my thunder the way she likes to do.

anyway, hi. i’m Ben. i’m a little white dog, and i’m really really cute.

do you guys ever get so frustrated with your parents when you tell them over and over what you need and they just refuse to acknowledge you? this happens to me almost daily.

when you would like to go outside, and when your parents are as dumb as mine, you have to try lots of approaches to get the message through. if one of them is staring at that glowing box on top of the desk I like to nap under, i will jab her in the leg with my nose. you would not believe how long she ignores this before finally getting up and opening the door for me, as if it’s such a humongous hassle for her. she’s not the one crossing her legs extra-tight, is she? if my parents are on the couch watching that other glowing box (what is it with these people and glowing boxes?), i will run circles around the couch until one of them gets up off his lazy butt and opens the door. sometimes i have to run, like, 15 circles before they get it through their heads that i would like to go outside please. when the nose jab and the circle both fail to get the door open, i will go and very nicely ask the wall to let me out. usually, if i go and stare at the wall next to the glowing box, ask it very nicely, and top it all off with a kiss (for the wall, not for one of the stupid parents), then the door will finally open.

don’t laugh, but when i get outside, i’m a squatter. sometimes if i need to reach something up high i’ll lift a leg, but usually i just pee the way my mom taught me. sometimes the chairs make fun of me, but i don’t really care. have you guys seen the kinds of embarrassing things they do?

i’m not posting a picture of my squatting technique like my mom might try to do, because that’s embarrassing. instead i posted that very dignified picture up there of myself in my yard. waiting, like i always do, to be let back in. look. just because i run around to the other side of the yard — far away from a door — to check on the neighbors’ puppies and offer them my wisdom, doesn’t mean i wouldn’t like to come inside just as soon as i’m ready. why can’t these people just let me in already?

it’s hard to be such a cute little white dog all the time. but someone’s gotta do it.

after you give me a treat please leave me alone so i can take a nap. also please go give treats to my friends bugs, rufus, ted, and gus. they are all also living the very hard life that cute dogs live, and they deserve a treat.

November 7, 2007 | Filed Under NaBloPoMo 07, Photos & Videos, Puppies, Wednesday-Bensday 

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9 Responses to “Wednesday-Bensday! Special Guest-Blogger Edition”

  1. Gary on November 7th, 2007

    I love that picture. The light is pretty amazing, and of course, Ben is handsome as ever.

  2. Lindsey on November 7th, 2007

    I LOVE YOU BEN! I totally want to make out with you in the way that humans are meant to make out with dogs. I love making out with Bugs. He is so handsome I just have to love him and hug and kiss him and smother him with love. Looking at that picture of you makes me want you for my very own.

    Ben, I have a question for you…if you were a character on The Office, who would you be?

    Also, Bugs is a squatter too, unless we are on a walk or he just happens to be in the mood to life his leg. Have you ever peed on the back of your front leg? Bugs has.

  3. Lindsey on November 7th, 2007

    Life his leg? Nice. Let’s try “lift.”

  4. the real real jessie but secretly kat on November 7th, 2007

    ben: are you pro or anti doggie door? it would save lots of circling but it might also be terrifying. your thoughts?

  5. Rufus (as typed by mom) on November 7th, 2007

    Whoa! How’d you get your mom to let you use the computer? I totally need to get in on the blog posting action!

  6. Stephen on November 7th, 2007

    Holy crap. Ben can talk. Presumably using the phone because Dog Moms should be at work about that time when this is posted.

    Somebody call Barum & Bailey. Ya’ll are going to make a fortune.

  7. Gus on November 8th, 2007

    Hey, Gus here. I squat too. Just thought you should know.

    Oh and if you are really, truly upset with your humans for ignoring your needs you can always wake them up at 3am by puking on their bed.

    Not that I would ever do something like that.

  8. Laurel on November 8th, 2007

    Ben, we’ve really been enjoying all of the fabulous glamor shots your mom posts of you. You have quite a dog modeling career ahead of you, I think!

  9. SJ on November 8th, 2007

    So creative girl. I mean boy. Errrr Ben.

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