Fine. I’ll say it.

I hated Gwyneth Paltrow’s dress at the Oscars. It was the most hideous thing I saw all night. And I saw Philip Seymour Hoffman’s hair.

Will someone please tell me what is not hideous about this? The color? Awful. The way her breasts appear to be squished under it in weird places? Unattractive and awful. All the different directions of the fabric? Unflattering and awful. Why the hell is she on everyone’s Best Dressed lists? Can people not see what she’s wearing? Because, look at it. It’s terrible!

Happy Day After Your Birthday, Kat!

This was supposed to be up yesterday, but due to technical difficulties is only just now being posted.

Kat's Birthday Photo

Happy Birthday (yesterday), Kat! We had Big City Burritos for you yesterday afternoon, just like you requested. And damn were they good! I hope all the rest of your birthday wishes came true, too!

My Zune LOVES Sarah McLachlan

Aside: My coworker’s 4-year-old son was admitted to the ICU yesterday with a bad case of pneumonia. If you would, please keep this adorable little boy and his family in your thoughts and prayers.

8 books down, 22 to go. Yesterday I finished Hot and Bothered, another fantastically cheesy Susan Andersen romance. How could I not love it?

On a completely unrelated note, I have been looking forward to doing one of these memes ever since I got my Zune. For the longest time, I’d see people doing this and think, “That would be so fun to do if only I had an iPod!” And the iPod envy increased. And then I got a Zune and thought, “Next time I see one of those music memes, I can totally do it!” And so I waited. And then I logged on to MySpace this morning and saw that Isaac, Jessie’s boyfriend, had done one, and I knew that the time had come. Today would be the day when I could finally do a music meme. And so I did it. And it turned out to be way lame and boring and disappointing in its lack of excitingness, but here it is anyway.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (Amarok, iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…just type it in man!

Opening Credits:
“Skin” — Madonna, Ray of Light

Waking Up:
“Roxie, Pt. 2″ — Ruthie Henshall, Chicago [Original London Cast]

First Day at School:
“Bamboleo” — The Gypsy Kings, Mix CD compiled by my high school Spanish IV class after a year of listening to music in class to improve vocabulary. It worked really well, and was tons of fun, too. All spanish classes should be taught like that.

Falling In Love:
“Greensleeves” — Vince Guarldi, A Charlie Brown Christmas

First Kiss:
“Finale” — Fred Ebb, Chicago [Original London Cast]

Fight Song:
“Fallen” — Sarah McLachlan, Live Acoustic [EP]

Breaking Up:
“Saturday Night (Is the Lonliest Night of the Week)” — Frank Sinatra, 16 Most Requested Songs

Prom:
“When Doves Cry” — Quindon Tarver, Romeo + Juliet, vol. 2

Life:
“In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning” — Carly Simon, Sleepless in Seattle

Mental Breakdown:
“God” — Tori Amos, Under the Pink

Driving:
“Stop, Look, Listen (To Your Heart)” — Diana Ross, Bridget Jone’s Diary

Flashback:
“Song for a Winter’s Night” — Sarah McLachlan, Rarities, B-Sides & Other Stuff

Getting Back Together:
“In Here” — Ani Difranco, Revelling/Reckoning, Disc 2

Wedding:
“Coming Up” — Ani Difranco, Not a Pretty Girl

Birth of Child:
“Possession (Rabbit in the Moon Mix)” — Sarah McLachlan, Remixed (I need to stop being too lazy to remove this damn CD from my Zune. I hate it in all of it’s techno-ness.)

Final Battle:
“The Plagues” — Amick Byram, Prince of Egypt

Death Scene:
“Alegria” — Cirque du Soleil, Collection

Funeral Song:
“You Okay Honey?” — Rent [Original Broadway Cast]

End Credits:
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” — Sarah McLachlan, Wintersong

My final impression of the whole thing? My Zune is in love with Sarah McLachlan. I can’t really blame it, she is fantastic enough to have earned the very exclusive ranking of SuperGoddess by me, Jessie, and Liz when we went to Lilith Fair (but that’s a whole other story, best saved for a day when I feel like annoying Tim because he gets very tired of hearing about it “every time Jessie and I get together,” even though in reality it’s more like “one in five times Jessie and I get together”). But, seriously, my collection of Sarah’s music comprises a relatively small percentage of the total music collection stored on my Zune. And yet, without fail, every time I hit shuffle I am bound to hear at least 3 Sarah songs within the first 20 minutes.

Help a Brother Out

My brother, specifically. See, he’s a filmmaker and he’s got this really cool opportunity coming up. But he needs your help. And why would you not want to help my brother out? He’s the coolest brother in the history of brothers — you can take my word for it.

Here, in his own words, is what he needs your help with:

Hi everyone,

Sorry if I’ve sent this to some of you before, but I’m trying to help my fellow filmmakers get as many votes as possible. Last month I worked on a short film that was submitted for the reality show “On the Lot.” If selected, the director (Andy Harvey, who I’ve worked with a couple times) will compete against 15 other filmmakers on the show. The winner gets the money and resources to make a full-length feature — possibly bringing his or her crew on board with them. So if you could help by taking 7 or 8 minutes to watch the trailer for his film and give it a rating, I would appreciate it. Especially if he wins and the result is high-profile paid work for me.

It’s pretty easy:

1. Go to http://films.thelot.com/films/20442 and watch the trailer for Your Other Self, Inc, which I worked on as 2nd Assistant Director a couple weeks ago.

2. Take a moment and register at the site so you can rate the film. A high rating would be nice, but give it what you think it deserves.

3. If you liked it, tell your friends to watch it and rate it too.

Thank you,

Chris

Simple as that. Just go watch a cool movie triler and give it a rating. It’s fun! And helpful! Everyone wins! (Especially my brother, hopefully!)

Jealousy

Do you remember when you were a kid and the best day of the whole school year was Parachute Day in P.E.? 6-Base Kick Ball days were pretty damn great, too, but nothing could beat Parachute Day.

What could possibly be better than standing in a circle, holding the edge of a parachute and flapping it up and down as hard and fast as your little arms could so that all the nerf balls Mr. Wood (coolest. P.E. teacher. ever.) threw in the middle bounced higher and higher and higher? Or working together with the rest of the class, raising the parachute up, up, up, high over your heads, then, fast as you could, taking a giant step towards the center of the circle, pulling the edge of the parachute behind you, down to the ground, and sitting on it, so that you were suddenly in the coolest techinicolor igloo ever?

I lived for the day when we’d go to P.E. and I’d see Mr. Wood unrolling that beautiful, multi-colored circle of fabric. Because that meant it was Parachute Day. And Parachute Day was pure, carefree, fun.

So you can imagine my jealousy upon reading this. Sure, Amalah’s alternate uses for her new parachute (her very own! she has her own parachute! she’s so lucky!) are both creative and hilarious. But all that was going through my head while I read her blog today was a very needy, very whiny voice saying, “I waaaant one!”

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