When I was driving home from work today I saw a teal P.T. Cruiser. TEAL, people. I almost threw up.

The four things meme

Four Jobs I’ve Had In My Life:
Pizza wench
Plant peddler
Dress shlepper
Text fixer

Four movies I can watch over and over:
Sliding Doors
Life is Beautiful
The Princess Bride
Old School

Four places I have lived:
Ft. Collins, CO
CSU Dorms
Colorado Springs, CO

Four TV shows I love to watch:
The Office
The Amazing Race (but only when it’s actually amazing. last season was a far cry from amazing.)
Curb Your Enthusiasm (but only on dvd because we are too poor for hbo)

Four places I have been on vacation:

Four of my favourite dishes:
Super potato-mole with cheese and no onions on jalapeno-cheddar, ranch, hot sauce, lupe salsa, sour cream, guacamole.
cajun-grilled salmon
french bread broiled with fresh garlic
homemade calzones

Four websites I visit daily:
google (okay, not daily, but definitely frequently)

Four places I would rather be right now:
A nail salon (in the spa chair, receiving a pedicure)
Pretty much any non-trash-covered beach

note to chris: call your sister back!

I’ve read a lot of things today. Things that were not easy to read. And I strongly considered stepping in and putting my two cents in, but there was that pesky little voice in the back of my head that kept saying “it’s not your place. you don’t know most of these people or their history.”

But I’m saying something now. I don’t know if this is the right place to say it. Maybe I should be posting this where more people involved will see it. But for now, I’m posting it here. And if someone thinks I should go post it elsewhere, too, I am more than happy to do that. But I’ll leave that up to one of the people involved. The one person involved who is way more important to me than he even knows.

It is incredibly difficult seeing a member of your family being verbally attacked all day long. Especially when the people doing the attacking are people that my brother once spoke very highly of. It’s hard to see them complain that they don’t know him anymore and then attack him for doing what he feels is best. I see that, and I can’t help but be struck by the hipocricy of it. These people are claiming not to know my brother anymore, and yet they’re claiming to still know what’s best for him. Well, people, you said it yourselves: you don’t know him anymore. How can you know what’s best for him if you self-admittedly don’t know him? I’m sorry if you think you should still know him and be close friends with him, and I don’t know the situation even remotely well enough to be able to say that you should or should not want that.

But i do know that I support my brother and have faith in his decisions. I know that the decisions he makes — especially the big, life-altering ones — are the best decisions that he can make for himself given what he knows and feels at the present time. I know he doesn’t take major decisions lightly – especially not when love and friendship are involved.

So, to the people who wrote all of those comments about my brother today, I say this: It may not be my place to get involved in your relationship with my brother. But I will never apologize for supporting him. And I feel very strongly that it is NOT your place to judge a person so harshly on his decisions concerning a situation that you yourselves have said you don’t know much of anything about.

And I hope my brother knows how much I love and support him (even if I do wish he’d return my calls already).

Penguin Wine

wine wine wine wine, wine wine wine wine, wine wine wine wine wine wine…..wiiiinnnneeee! (to be sung to that baseball tune. even though i don’t like baseball nor do i even agree to include it in the genre of “sports.”)

I just finished off an entire bottle of Little Penguid Shiraz. All by my lonesome. Except Tim and JEnn were here too, they just didnt’ help me drink it at all. It sure was yummy. We watched Scrubs – season 1, disc 1. It is soooooooooooooooooooo good. I’ve seen that disc bevfore, but that’s okay because my parents called and I got to talk to them for a long time while tim an djenn watched episodes that tim and i just watched recently (me for the first time -tim had seen them before). the first season was reall good. the current season is really good. scurbs in general is realllllllyyyyyyyyyyy gooooooood. we laughed a lot. it’s good to laugh. especially after the week we’ve had. laugh = good.

it was dinner night tonight. tim made rotisseree salmon ceasar (pronouncded Kay-sar like the kid in that commercial did) salad and veggie soup. and french bread, courtesy of jenn and teh grocery store and the fresh-bakedness. mmmmmm. yummy.

I asked for a healthy dinner, then i ate 4 girl scout cookies and 8 m&ms. (sound familiar? a la Cher in “clueless”? really great movie, btw).

Tim rented moveis from the library. one of them is space balls. kate’s favorite movie -at least one tha tshe quotes all the time. i intend to get drunk iwth tim and watch it and have lots of fun.

Ben has a new favorite piece of furniture. it’s a black leather chair right here in our office. he loves it. here’s the story. We got ben a bed for christmas. my thinking was, he alway’s gets kicked off of our little itty bitty bed, so he should have a nice lace to sleep on the floor. I didn’t know i was getting a nice big king bed for christmas. now there’s plenty of room for us and ben on the king bed and he sleeps up there all night no problem. never on his own bed. so we moved his bed to the office, thinking, he likes to hang ou tin the office with us a lot, he might use hi sbed in there. and he did. until tim brought the big black leather chair home. it was in his grandma’s room and she wasn’t using it (this was several months ago), so we replaced it with another chair for her and brought the leather one home. It is no wben’s favorite office chair ever. when wea re in here, the first place he goes is the leather chair. i tis tim’s movie=watching chair for festival submissions. but ben is in it all the time, and not on his bed. no matte rwhere we put the bed in this house (ben’s bed), there will always be a peice of furniture tha tis better to him. we cannot win. it’s a good thing we bought the least expensive bed ever so we don’t feel like we’ve wasted quite as much money. maybe we’ll move it to the living room next, fo rwhen he’s not on the couch with us. we’ll see. silly pooch.

okay, time for me to go tomy bed and sleep alongside tim and ben in the great big comfy bed. goondinght all. thank you for all of your good wishes these last few days. lord knows we needed them and they really do mean a lot to us. thank you so much. goodnight.

p.s. aren’t drunk posts fun?/funny? (and i only say funny because of all the typos and the non-sensicalness of ti all, not because i actually am conceited enought to think i am funny.)

vaya con dios

Tim’s grandma passed away yesterday morning, just before 11:00. She wasn’t alone; Dennis and Maggie were there. They were telling a nurse that the services would be in Florida, and the nurse said, “Oh, you’re taking her home?” And they said, “Yeah, we’re taking her home to Florida.” Then she breathed about 2 more breaths, and that was it. We think she just needed to know that she was going home to Florida.

They said it was very peaceful. She died in her sleep – the way everybody says would be the ideal way to go.

Tim called me right after he got the call. I asked if he needed me to come home. He said no, I said I’d look into at least leaving after lunch. He assured me that he was really okay and didn’t need me to come home.

I figured I’d finish up what I was working on and leave around noon. But there was no way I could concentrate on work anymore. I went into the bathroom and cried a little. Then I went to my boss’s office and asked to go home. I cried a little more in front of my boss. I HATE crying in front of people. But I’d gather everyone in the office together and sob uncontrollably any day if it would help Tim.

So I went home and spent some time snuggling on the couch with Tim. He was doing surprisingly okay. His main concern had been that she would die alone, so he felt good about the fact that his parents were there.

His mom called shortly after I got home and asked us to go take some flowers or something to his dad and keep him company for the afternoon. So, we bought a really cool little palm tree plant (to represent Florida) that is easy to care for and lives for ages (as opposed to some cut flowers; we figured a new life was better than something else to watch wither and die). And we picked up some chocolate-covered pretzels and spent the day with Dennis. Jenn came over after not too long, and we all had a pretty nice afternoon together. Talking about all that had happened, sharing stories, discussing plans for the memorial service.

When Maggie got done working (how she managed to finish the day, I’ll never know), we all went out to the Olive Garden, one of Tim’s Grandma’s favorite restaurants.

All in all, it was a well-spent afternoon and evening. We all got to be together and help one another through the day. And, honestly, I think everybody is just a little relieved. I’m sure Tim’s grandma is relieved that she doesn’t have to struggle through all that pain anymore. And we’re relieved that we can sleep through the night without worrying if the phone’s going to ring at 2 in the morning. We’ve passed through the Limbo of “how many more hours will she live?” and into a place where we can start moving on, start grieving, stop worrying constantly.

The funeral will be in Florida after Aleisha gets home. We’ll leave 3 days after she comes home. Next time she calls, she should be back in a place where she has constant phone access. We’re not going to give her the bad news until she’s definitely able to be on the phone for as long as she needs to be – whether it’s 2 hours or 20. This whole grandma-saga has happened since Aleisha left. She moved from Florida into the assisted living place while Aleisha was in Hawaii and now she’s died just a week and a half before Aleisha comes home. I think this is going to be very very hard on Aleisha. Probably harder on her than on anyone else, because we’ve all been here to watch the decline in health. We all knew what was coming and had time to come to some kind of peace about it before it happened. Aleisha hasn’t had any of that. She’s had no time to prepare at all.

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